


Stability

by petiteneko



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Swearing, Trans Male Character, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-28 19:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10837959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petiteneko/pseuds/petiteneko
Summary: It wasn’t because he was self-conscious or ashamed. No, it was because he was afraid. His greatest fear was being alone after all.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first off: This is an AU (Or UA) where Luffy is trans. (FTM) It’s fairly ‘different’ from my usual set up where there are a lot of changes in PoV’s. So, that being said, there will be some disphoria/mentions of it.
> 
> It’s something I’ve really wanted to write for awhile. It’s a self-indulgent fanfiction for me. (Yay, happy belated birthday to me!) And, also for Luffy’s birthday! (Because of course this needs to end happy) So, here’s my dual birthday present :D  
> (It's a little late because I had to go to my own party last night xD. There's more to come)
> 
> The lawlu doesn't occur until like part 3, just so you are aware.
> 
> .xxx. = Change in time/location
> 
> .+++. = Change in PoV

For one that slept as often as Luffy did, it wasn’t hard for Zoro to notice the few tendencies that Luffy had.

There was the fact that Luffy, without fail, would sleep on his stomach. The closest exception to this rule was when the captain was tightly holding a pillow, half on his stomach and half on his side.

And, thinking about it, usually when Luffy was laying down it was on his stomach.

There were other unusual tendencies that Luffy had.

That, for a guy who hardly had any respect for other people’s personal space, he seemed to be… well…

Zoro wouldn’t say that he was _self-conscious_ but, Luffy _never_ changed in front of anybody. His baths were even taken alone even though he was an anchor. (Granted, he always asked for somebody to be outside the door in case he _did_ drown. Just asked them to knock on the door to check in on him every few minutes.)

Abnormalities aside, his captain was his captain. They all had their quirks.

.xxx.

Cocoyasi Island, really, was the first time that Luffy had any major medical treatment. Sure, he had a few bandages here and there, had to inhale some anti-venom, but nothing _serious._

He could hear some arguing going on in the room next to his. Luffy was protesting, while the doctor of the village was only protesting back. Zoro couldn’t admit he could understand what was saying, but eventually it seemed that Luffy had been subdued by the doctor by the lack of response from Luffy. And the fact that the doctor left to grab Nami (who was waiting for her turn to be attended to due to what she had done to the tattoo on her shoulder) and bring her into the room.

Why? Well, eventually Zoro had learned just the reasoning when they had returned to the Going Merry.

Apparently Luffy had injured his ribs while fighting Arlong, and his bandages needed changing. Of course, the doctor didn’t trust Luffy’s capabilities to ensure the bandages were properly or consistently wrapped. (Neither would Zoro. Luffy was like him in that aspect.) And it seemed that Nami was in charge of that. (And _his_ too.)

(Why Nami, well, probably because of Luffy’s protests and Nami was the closest person around that could _properly_ move.)

So every morning, Luffy would pop on over to Nami, who would change his bandages. And, then, Luffy would push Zoro on into the same room, telling him it was his turn.

And while Luffy’s morning visits with Nami would continue after they had healed, Zoro thought nothing of it. Luffy just probably liked to bug Nami in the mornings. (Or, as Luffy would put it: talk to.)

.xxx.

It was Vivi that brought these visits up.

Why? He had no clue. It was just the norm on the ship that Luffy would go bouncing on over to see Nami whenever he woke up. That Luffy tended to ask Nami now to stand watch whenever he took a bath.

Vivi had asked around; wondering if their captain and their navigator were in any sort of _relationship._

(This, of course, was denied by all of them. Of course not – no, that couldn’t be.)

It made them all wonder though: _could it be?_

Of course, the Merry being a small ship, Nami had found out the very next day.

She denied the claims, and by process of elimination, found out that it was Vivi, of all people, to raise those speculations.

The two of them soon went off alone to talk about it.

(Whatever became of that conversation, Zoro would never know. But regardless, Vivi had stopped asking questions.)

.xxx.

When Nami got sick, things were rocky.

They were all out of sorts. Worrying for Nami, all sleeping by her. Vivi was sleeping by her side, head and arms resting on the bed. Luffy paced and did everything that he could think of to help.

Eventually they ended up at the Drum Kingdom.

Eventually they met Dr. Kureha and Chopper.

Eventually shit hit the fan.

.+++.

Nami woke up to an accusing gaze.

“Stupid, stupid girl.”

An old woman was staring down at her.

“You weren’t walking around with your stomach exposed on a prehistoric island, were you?”

The doctor, as she introduced herself as, explained the nature of her condition. And how she should continue to rest for another three days. But there was something else in her eyes.

“Your idiotic captain and cook are alright. I had to treat them for frostbite and hypothermia and their injuries but-”

(Nami remembered. She remembered Nako ushering her into Luffy’s room. She remembered that pained, fearful, meek look on Luffy’s face. She remembered. Remembered seeing as Luffy…)

She had sharply inhaled.

Before she received a slap to her face.

“Stupid girl!” There was some muttering under her breath as the doctor shook her head before continuing. “…I figured that it was you. That job could have only been done by somebody else – the way that it was wrapped. At least it appeared to have been done in professional manner, even if sloppy. Did somebody instruct you?”

Nami rubbed at her face – feeling a mixture of both shame and anger. Shame at her incapability of not being able to do it while she was sick, and anger at this doctor’s judgement.

“ **What** do you know about it!” She yelled back.

(She cared desperately for her friends. Luffy… he had saved her village. Had saved **her.** Of course she would do **anything** for her friends and their happiness. Vivi too… she couldn’t just **stay here** for another three days! They had to get to Alabasta!)

Her fists were clenched. “ **Do** you even **know** what he’s going through? The **pain** in his eyes… that **fear.** He was afraid, you know? Afraid that I’d reject him…” Nami shook her head. “And the doctor in my village showed me what to do. He takes it off at night, you know? The last few days… he might not have been. Because I’ve been the only one to do it. I’m… the only one that knows…”

(Luffy made her promise. Not to tell them. Not that she would have anyway. It wasn’t hers to tell.)

There was a sigh from the old woman, and she lit a smoke.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that his body has _some_ rest. Even though his body is made of rubber, it’s still not good to be constantly…” She shook her head.

A little creature ran through the room. Quickly followed by her crewmates.

“Take him. He can help the two of you. My little reindeer…”

.+++.

Humans _really_ were hard to understand. It was when he first started treating the strawhat man, taking off those drenched, cold clothes. But the moment that Doctorine had screeched at him to separate the strawhat from his crewmate was _really_ when he had gotten confused.

But he took the blond-haired man to another room, and continued treating that man instead, hearing Doctorine mutter expletives to the frost-bitten, hypothermic boy.

It wasn’t until after that he had been informed of the situation at hand.

Apparently Doctorine had noticed something that not even he had. (Sure, he noticed a few abnormalities, but he figured it was just the fact that the strawhat had been carrying the orange-haired girl for so long…) Perhaps it was the fact that he mentioned that the captain had smelled funny that was what tipped her off.

Or maybe it was just because she had far more experience than he did.

So when he was finished with the blond man, he knocked on the door and Doctorine had let him in.

“Chopper, the reason I had you take that man to another room was…”

And Choppers eyes grew wide as Doctorine explained. And he understood – far more than he would have thought. He understood this person wrapped in blankets laying in bed. Well. Maybe. Doctorine also said she wasn’t too sure, and she couldn’t be until they woke up. But the signs were there, and she hadn’t wanted to risk anything.

So all they could do was wait.

.xxx.

It was the blond haired man that woke up first. Demanding to know about Nami. And then followed a bit later by inquiring to know about Luffy.

His own name was Sanji, and he had an explosive personality.

So Doctorine explained about Nami and that she was being treated. But also was careful in choosing her wording about Luffy – this guy’s captain.

They didn’t know the details yet after all.

(One thing Chopper quickly realised was the difference in the way that Sanji referred to Nami over Luffy. It made him further believe that Doctorine was right.)

“So that bastard’s alright? Damn fool, dragging both of us up the mountain. I told him to leave me.”

With a nod, Doctorine had left to go check up on Luffy.

Yes, it was a good thing they separated those two.

.xxx.

The first thing out of Luffy’s mouth was: Nami.

And then it was a shriek, demanding to know where they had put his clothes.

“Drying. We wrapped you in blankets to keep you warm, as they were soaking wet.” Doctorine said in her no-nonsense voice. And then she lifted her leg, slamming it down on the table next to the bed before letting the roll of bandages fall from her hand. “But first things first, could you care to tell me just _why_ these bandages are _days_ old? You don’t seem to have any injuries to your ribs.”

“It’s the Grand Line.” Luffy said, looking to the side and stuck out his lips. “Not a lot of time on our hands.”

Doctorine sighed.

(This guy was bad at lying.)

“While it’s obvious you’ve eaten a devil fruit, that doesn’t mean you are invincible!”

Chopper got out of there before Doctorine started her scolding screaming fests.

.xxx.

“There. That should do it.”

Chopper had taken over what had been Nami’s job until now. Sure, she did a relatively decent job but… Not to mention _he_ was the doctor on the ship. This was _his_ job to ensure the well being of his crewmates, whether it be mental or physical.

He looked up at his captain after a moment of silence. “…Have you considered telling them Luffy?”

(It fell quiet again.)

“Nami knows and I know, and we don’t hate you.” He placed his hand on Luffy’s bare shoulder. “Nami seems to understand, and… I _really_ understand. Neither of us thinks of you differently. And, hey.” Now Chopper was laughing. “If they can accept _me_ , a monster of all things, then certainly they’ll all be fine with it!”

Luffy looked at him now.

“They will find out eventually Luffy. It’s better to tell them yourself and with your own words then let them find out by accident or necessity. Like Nami and I.”

To be honest, Chopper was surprised that Luffy nodded.

.+++.

Luffy was sitting beside Nami and Chopper. He called everybody over.

“H-Hey, guys. I gotta tell you something…”

(What had made Luffy look like this? Never had he seen his captain look so _meek_ or _scared._ )

Nami was squeezing Luffy’s shoulder. Chopper was rubbing his back. And Luffy was fisting his pants.

“I-I mean… it’s better for you guys to hear it from me, then to find out. Chopper said that.”

Nervous… Luffy was _nervous._

“Just spit it out already Luffy. I gotta make breakfast.”

…Stupid cook, couldn’t he read the atmosphere?

“Food?”

Luffy had perked right up at the mention of food.

(Huh, okay, maybe he wasn’t _that_ stupid.)

Luffy was calmer now, still tense, but not as much as before. He took a deep breath.

“I’m not really a guy.”

Nami shook her head and squeezed Luffy’s shoulder. “...Luffy…”

Not really a guy?

“I mean… I am but… I wasn’t _born_ one.” Now, Luffy was hugging himself. “If that makes any sense. I’m sorry I didn’t tell any of you, but I thought you would all…”

Zoro sighed. That’s what this was all about? He shook his head and moved over to ruffle Luffy’s hair. “You’re my captain Luffy. The man who’s going to be the Pirate King, right?”

Luffy beamed up at him.

Then Usopp moved over, a hand being placed on Luffy’s other shoulder. “Who gives a damn about that? Luffy is Luffy, and if he’s a guy, then he’s a guy.”

Vivi was smiling down at them, giving all of them thumbs up.

And they all looked over at Sanji.

“That’s it? Stupid shitheads interrupting breakfast. Nami~ Vivi~ What did you want special?”

And their captain was laughing.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part 2! Part 3 will be done when I'm a bit more coherent

“These are for you Luffy.”

Vivi was smiling at him, her outstretched arms holding a few wrapped items.

Luffy blinked, tilting his head. “For me?”

That smile widened and Nami came up behind Vivi as well. She had that somewhat scary smile on her face – that one that knew everything. But, in this case it wasn’t that scary. They both nodded.

So he didn’t wait any longer, taking the gifts and tore off the wrapping. Clothes. They were clothes of some sort – like sleeveless shirts but… short.

Nami came up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You can use these instead of the bandages. We asked Chopper, and he said they’re fine and to use them like you use your bandages.” She was smiling at him. “So don’t wear them all the time. And you can put them on yourself, instead of coming to one of us to do it.”

And Luffy just stared at the gift.

Vivi was still smiling down at him. “And if you break all of them, just send me a message, as I know you fight all the time.” She said with a soft laugh. “I can always get you some more somehow.”

“Thank you!” He laughed, feeling tears in his eyes and wrapped the two of them in his arms.

.+++.

They always ensured to just let each of their new crew members know eventually about everything. Mostly it was because they kept getting into more and more dangerous situations, and they couldn’t afford to risk a shocking discovery in the middle of a battle. Of course, everybody took it with ease. Nobody had a problem with it.

The general populace never knew. There were a select few people that knew, such as those who knew Luffy before he set out to become a pirate (Ace, the Redhair Pirates, Luffy’s hometown), and then there was the doctor from Nami’s hometown. Vivi and Carue knew as well, being there when Luffy had admitted it to the crew. (Not to mention Vivi _was_ unofficially a Strawhat, even if she couldn’t be with them.) Bon Kurei, too, knew. But mostly that was because of his devil fruit, and he made no comments or judgements on Luffy either. Nor, did it seem, did he reveal Luffy’s secret, even when they were enemies or captured by the Marines.

And, in Water 7, they found out that Luffy’s grandfather also knew. And supportive to boot. Just not in the case of his piracy.

If they found anybody who had been opposed to their captain – well, the Strawhats **would** ensure that they paid.

.+++.

He woke up, finding himself surrounded by women. He could hear them mumbling things, but he didn’t quite understand it. His head hurt…

…Where was he?

“…doing here?”

“…mushrooms.”

“…she doing alright?”

“Oh, she’s waking up.”

Luffy sat himself up. What had happened? …Wait a minute

He was naked!

“Where are my clothes!”

He quickly brought up his knees to cover himself. Shit. Shit. Shit. A bunch of strangers just…

(He could hear them, all talking about him. No. Not him. _Her._ they said. _She_ they whispered. That _girl._ )

“Shut up! Shut up!” He demanded, covering his ears.

Finally, somebody brought him a blanket and covered him up. He was trembling, and all he could hear was those words. Those words that described somebody that he _wasn’t._

“G-Give me my shirts back. Please.”

“What’s wrong, young one?”

Luffy looked up at the only one that hadn’t referred to him incorrectly. Her voice was thick with an accent, and she made some sounds that resembled a cat.

“Give me my shirts back!” He demanded. And his pants too. But his shirts first.

The old woman gestured with her staff and a single shirt was brought over. It wasn’t the outer layer, but the inner one. Well, that one was the most important one at least.

“Your other one was destroyed and in tatters.”

Luffy quickly snatched it before putting it on, letting the blanket cover his lower half.

(There. That was better. Much better.)

“You seem calmer now.” The old woman noted.

Yes, yes of course he was. His top was dealt with. Not to mention these women around him had stopped their chatter and whisperings. And so he nodded.

“Hmm….” And then the old woman leaned in, closely looking at his face. Her head tilted, hand going up to her chin. “So, tell me what brought you here.” There was a pause and she continued to look at him. “Girl.”

Luffy flinched and narrowed his eyes. “I’m not a **girl!** ”

(All the women around him were talking again. Saying stuff like how and why and what and just asking questions all to themselves.)

The old woman held her hand up, clearing her throat.

“ _Boy_ , then, is it?”

(There were gasps all around, but a stern gaze from the old lady stopped them from talking even more.)

“That’s right! I’m Monkey D. Luffy, the man who will become the Pirate King!”

And after that, all of the women in the room just… _jumped_ him.

.xxx.

The next thing he knew, he was in a prison cell, a blanket still covering his lower half – but, hey, at least they kept his undershirt on.

His head was starting to hurt less. And he was starting to remember now.

_Kuma. His nakama…_

He wrapped the blanket around his waist awkwardly and walked up to the bars.

The women were outside of the cell, staring at him.

His clothes were mostly missing. Apparently his shirt was ripped. But what about his pants? And Rayleigh’s vivre card! And his hat! And Ace’s vivre card!

“Where’s my hat?”

When Luffy looked through the crowd of women, he found one that was wearing it. “Ah! There it is! Give it back!” The bars were going both ways, but he could still stick his hand through it. With a grin, he stretched out his arm, snatching his hat back. Ah, yes. Much better. Undershirt, check. Hat, check. Some more clothes would be nice too…

(This time these women were whispering better things about him. _Him. His. That boy._ )

Yes, this was much better.

“Oi, do you know where my pants are?”

They said his shirt was tattered, right?

“Ah, your pants were ruined too. Here, we made you new ones.”

(Okay, scratch that, this wasn’t better at all.)

Frills. Flowers. _Girly_ things.

“I’m a guy, dammit!”

And, just like that, the women became aggressive again.

“As I thought. Typical.”

That woman looked like a guard.

“We save your life, and you show no gratitude?”

Wait – wait… “You saved my life?”

But they didn’t want to listen. Even though he apologised.

“Men are forbidden from stepping foot on this island.”

…An island forbidden to men? What kind of place was this?

“Elder Nyon says that, even though your body is that of a woman, your spirit is that of a man. And that makes you a man. And, by being a man and setting foot on this island is a crime.”

He tried to apologise some more. Tried to insist that he didn’t mean to be here. That Kuma had sent him flying here. He didn’t know.

But they just held their arrows at him, not giving in.

“Just let me go! I made a promise to my nakama!”

Damn it all. Looks like he just had to run.

.xxx.

Impel Down had been chaos.

But now they were on their way to Marineford, on their way to the war.

Luffy was disheartened to learn that Bon had stayed behind to get them free, but he understood it. It wasn’t fair though.

But the thought of Ace kept him going. He needed to save Ace.

(He remembered, too, something that Bon had said to him: Iva. The miracle worker. “Hey! Maybe she can help you out Mugi!”)

Luffy placed his hand on his chest. His undershirt had melted away from Magellan’s poison. The only thing keeping it in place was bandages…

He glanced back to Iva, and he remembered when Iva had…

"Iva?"

"Yes Mugiwara-boy?"

"Do you think you can fix me? I wanna be myself, and Bon told me that you could help me with that.” Luffy looked over to the sea and hugged himself. He remembered his friends and their smiling faces. Vivi’s laughter and her present. How many did he have left on the Sunny?

“Bon-boy did mention someving like vat.” Iva had nodded thoughtfully.

Luffy blinked. “What do you mean?” Bon had…?

“He said to make sure vour upper body was covered and vrapped. Tightly. Combined with the fact vat vour clothes had all been burned away, and how he referred to you, it vasn’t too hard to figure it out Mugiwara-boy.” Iva flashed a smile at him. “Very vell, it may be uncomfortable given your circumstances but Vi’m certain you are more than villing. Hormone Injection!”

The stab in his side was a pain he had been becoming familiar to, unfortunately. There was more pain. Here and there. As his body changed. It wasn’t just pain either but… strange sensations as well. Shrinking and growing. “A-Ahh! Weird. I feel…”

His voice was changing, getting deeper… coarser.

His face felt funny. As did his neck. No. Everything felt funny. A weight was lifted from his chest, but _something else_ happened lower.

“I-I…” He was dizzy after all of it. His voice – it was similar but _different._ It wasn’t quite that of a stranger, but he wasn’t used to it.

“M-My voice.”

He lifted his hands up to this throat – feeling a pronounced bump there. He felt his face – wider, it wasn’t like before. And then his chest.

“Gone! They’re gone!” The weight that was lifted from there wasn’t just literal either. No, it was symbolic too. A weight that no longer held him back or pushed him down. Gone! They were gone!

He laughed, wrapping his arms around himself.

(He could hear Iva laughing softly in the background.)

And then he pulled open his pants to look down.

“Shishsihi!” He laughed.

Complete. Whole.

 _This_ was who he was.

“Thank you Iva!” He said, and just jumped onto the Queen, wrapping his arms around them.

.+++.

“Luffy!”

Why? Why was that bastard here?! Such a reckless idiot! “Don’t come here! This is **my** mistake! Don’t go butting into **my** business!”

That damn fool! Why couldn’t he have minded his own business?

“I don’t give a damn about any of that! You’re my brother!”

…There just was _something_ about Luffy’s voice right now. It was different. Maybe it was just the war. Maybe it was just the fact that it was Luffy’s voice that was the only one he could truly _hear_ right now. That it was _his_ voice that stood out in all of this chaos…

Whatever it was though, it sounded different.

(He could still hear other voices and understand their words however. But it was like a muffled buzz. Confusion. Astonishment. What? Ace’s brother? No way? Roger had another son?)

And now it was Sengoku’s voice that boomed out for all to hear. “Don’t be fooled! These two are foster siblings! Luffy’s father is not Roger, but Dragon the Revolutionary! Both of these siblings carry cursed blood in their veins! Don’t let this rookie take control of the war!”

Well, at the very least Sengoku wasn’t _that_ heartless to reveal Luffy’s biology to the world…

(If he had, everything be damned, Ace **would** have tried attacking the bastard.)

“You **idiot!** ” Ace screamed out to Luffy. Damn it all. If Luffy hadn’t….

“Ace! Stay there! I’m coming!”

And came he did.

.xxx.

“Hey, hey, that’s my little brother you are attacking there.”

After the two of them dealt with the swarm that came at them, Luffy had just… _pounced_ at him, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

“Ace!”

…Wait a minute… **Something** was missing! And Ace pulled Luffy away and took a long, good look at him. No way! No way!!

“Luffy!” He was beaming down at his little brother. “You’re—”

“I know, right?” And Luffy was grinning up at him with sparkling eyes. “Iva fixed me up! I even have–”

“Luffy! Watch out!” Ace grabbed the arm that tried to slice his brother in two before blasting the offender away. “Let’s get out of here. Tell me all about it later.”

And Luffy continued to grin up at him before nodding and laughing.

To think, Luffy finally was in the right body…

 **God…** he was so happy right now…

.xxx.

…Where was he?

( _Explosions. Screams. Agony. Loss. **Pain!** Oh God! The pain!_ )

There was frantic beeping. People yelling. Hands on his shoulders.

“Calm down. Calm down. It’s alright. **You’re** alright…”

The beeping was settling down now. And his head… it was foggy... It wasn’t enough for him to lose consciousness yet.

“Wh-Where am I?” He croaked out. (Why was his throat so dry?)

“I’m Trafalgar law. A surgeon. You sustained major injuries, but I was able to resuscitate you. You’re currently on my ship…”

That voice drifted off and he couldn’t decipher the words anymore. Injuries? Was _that_ why he remembered those sounds? Memories began to flood in now. 

( _”Leave! Get away from here my children!”_ )

( _”Ace!”_ )

( _”Die!”_ )

Ah… _shit…_

Luffy… Luffy… Luffy was…. (For some reason he couldn’t even muster the energy to panic about his brother.) “Luffy…” Even his voice was weak. Tired. Exhausted. “Luffy… where’s Luffy?” The world was spinning. He could barely think… “…And the Old Man? Where is he…?”

Those hands were on his shoulders again.

“Mugiwara-ya is recovering in the next room.” The same voice spoke calmly to him.

Oh, Luffy was safe. Ace felt his lips curling into a smile as relief flooded over him. Good… Good….

.+++.

Law sighed as he sat at his desk. Dealing with these two brothers was exhausting. He needed to keep both of them heavily sedated, and they were each concerned about the other’s wellbeing.

Luffy had been the first to recover, and he would constantly look into the window to Ace’s room. And, since Ace would regain consciousness from time to time, Law had to keep the man under constant sedation. Well, at least until Law was certain that sudden movements wouldn’t tear or rupture anything.

Thankfully he didn’t have to really worry about that with Luffy. Sure, he had to tell the idiot to not overexert himself, but moving around was fine.

(Although there was that time when Luffy had finally begun to move around on his own that made him question himself. Did he mess up on the dosage he had last given Luffy? Certainly, it was plausible considering how _tired_ he was and that he was treating multiple patients. For one of the first things out of Luffy’s mouth – aside from inquiring about Ace’s condition – was: how do I pee? And, as Law thought about it more, it only made him believe more and more that he had probably accidentally given Luffy Ace’s dosage of sedative and painkillers. Which produced a rather unfortunate scenario for him, as his crew had left to check up on Ace and he was the only one there to answer Luffy’s awkward question. So, woe he went, since his obviously high patient was rather insistent on lacking the knowledge of just _how_ to empty his bladder.)

Eventually, Ace had become fit enough for Law to take him off of the sedatives.

When he had come to, it was apparent that Ace remembered the few moments that he had been conscious and when Law had to calm the man down until the sedatives kicked in.

Tears were flowing down his cheeks.

“The Old Man… he’s dead, isn’t he?”

Law could only nod solemnly.

Thankfully, it was Luffy who came in to support his brother, so Law didn’t have to attempt to do anything else.

.+++.

“Luffy – you’re… you’re…”

Luffy was beaming at Nami who was staring at him, her eyes wide in awe.

“I know right!”

Nami hugged him. And Usopp, and Brook, and Franky… Robin used giant arms while Chopper was hugging Luffy’s head. In fact, the only two had hadn’t joined in on the massive groups hug was Zoro and Sanji. But, when Nami spared a glance behind her as they began to walk, she could see the two men placing their elbows on Luffy’s shoulders, smiles on all three faces.

It made her smile as well.


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OTL
> 
> Oh my god. This.... this is a fucking monster. 17 pages guys. 17 mother fucking pages.
> 
> Here's the lawlu portion of this! (I still can't believe how long this is. Like wtf!)

“S-Sabo?!”

Sabo looked at the young man sobbing in front of him. His brother. His _brother._. He nodded.

And he got a face full of Luffy’s chest.

(To be honest, he was _really_ glad not only for Luffy that Iva fixed him up right now.)

Sabo laughed and patted Luffy’s back.

“Thank you Luffy. For living. For helping Ace to live…”

Luffy nodded furiously.

“And I’m glad for you too. That you met Iva… does it feel better?”

More furious nodding. And a hilarious story of asking another Super Nova how to take a leak. The Super Nova who was apparently allied with him…

(And the one who had saved both of his brothers’ lives.)

.+++.

To be honest, Trafalgar Law had no idea just _what_ he had gotten himself into…

It was just supposed to be an **alliance** not this… this… **thing** it had turned into.

First the idiot insists that they were _nakama_ , then he fucking saves his life against his wishes, bonds with his crew, and now?

Now that mother fucker just **kissed** him!

“…Have you been drinking Mugiwara-ya?”

(Law remember the last time a foreign substance had influenced Luffy’s behaviour. Seriously. The idiot forgot how to take a fucking piss!)

Luffy was pouting at him. “No!”

Law only rolled his eyes. “Of course not,” he drolled out, “you’re completely in _full_ control of all of your capacities.” The sarcasm was practically dripping from his voice. “Because it’s _completely normal_ to want to kiss me.” He rolled his eyes again, pushing Luffy away when he tried to press closer. “Just like it’s completely normal to forget how to piss.” And since Luffy obviously wasn’t taking the hint, Law just decided to stand up, letting Luffy just fall unceremoniously off of him.

“But Toraoo~”

Law sighed at the whining and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Not even _he_ was free from some slight intoxication. He was nowhere near drunk, mind you, but _still_ inebriated. Probably was why he was saying the things he was saying, in all honesty. “We’ll discuss this when we’re both sober.” He said with some irritation before walking away.

Seriously… just **what** had he gotten himself into?

.xxx.

Law had settled against Bepo as he mulled on what just happened.

Luffy had kissed him. Had just clambered onto his lap, purred out his nickname, leaning in a bit before just _pulling_ Law down by the cheeks and pushed their lips together. It was sloppy, awkward, and just… well… _shocking._ Of all of the things that Law had ever expected Luffy to do, this was probably one of the last things on that list. If it even _made_ the list that is. (Not to mention that list was _quite_ long...)

And what if? What _if_ Luffy had truly wanted to do that? Somewhere inside of him. Alcohol _was_ something that tended to loosen up any inhibitions people had. Certainly, yes, it made people do things that were uncharacteristic of them, even made them do things that they would never _think_ of doing otherwise…

But, _what if?_

Law groaned.

Sure, the Strawhat was pleasant enough, even if irksome to no end. Sure, Law had gotten used to his presence, but mostly because he **had** to. Sure, they got along fine enough, even though some days Law regretted pulling that idiot and his brother out of the war.

But **this?**

Gods…

Whatever… Luffy acted all sorts of odd when inebriated by drugs – medically or otherwise. That, at least, he consoled himself with.

.xxx.

“Torao~”

To say he wanted to wake up with Luffy’s face **far** too close for comfort was a lie in of itself. Law groaned, pushing Luffy’s face away, and sat up.

“Morning, Mugiwara-ya.”

Well, at the very least, he didn’t have a hangover.

Luffy was laughing and on his heels as they walked, spewing out random things that, quite frankly, Law couldn’t give a damn about.

“Can this wait until I get my daily dosage of caffeine Mugi-”

(Apparently the mention of _any_ sort of drug had prompted memories of _other_ drugs to come flooding back, namely, **alcohol.** Even if that mention was a self-deprecating attempt at a joke.)

…Fuck, that _really_ happened, didn’t it?

Never was Law so grateful to have a mug shoved in his hands. (He knew, with the expression he was currently wearing, he looked worse than he _actually_ was. Because it wasn’t dehydration that paled him, no, it was mortification.) It also seemed that the chef had sufficiently distracted a rambunctious captain with food.

God. That’s what Sanji was right now. Gifting Law with everything he wanted before he even realised it.

He was already starting to feel better after his first cup, but he held it up for another. Not only would it keep Luffy at bay for awhile longer, Law felt that he was going to _need_ it for today.

If Luffy asked him about last night, just _what_ was he supposed to say? Fuck…

(Fuck _indeed._ )

No thank you, peanut gallery. He didn’t need his sardonic humour right now. Couldn’t it take a skip day or something?

Law sighed and stared into the black depths of his coffee.

Luffy, huh?

Well, the usual first two excuses he used couldn’t apply to the Strawhat, Law knew that much. As begrudgingly as he was to admit it… Luffy was his friend. And, foremost, a man he trusted. This was a man he was willing to die together with.

But that didn’t necessarily mean…

Certainly, yes, Mugiwara no Luffy was _far_ from unattractive. Powerful and caring to boot. And it wasn’t as if Law only played for one team…

But this was Mugiwara no Luffy. The man who refused _Boa Hancock_ of all people. The supposed most sought after woman in the world.

And this was **him.** Trafalgar Law. Whose personality and traits, in his own opinion, had to be the most unappealing in the world. Insomnia. Paranoia. Anxiety. An over-seasoned dosage of PTSD and abandonment issues. His humour bordered on insanity and insulting – both to himself and others. And, don’t forget that healthy dusting of suicidal, self-destructive tendencies. All in all, such a **perfect** and appealing candidate for a partner, wouldn’t you agree?

(Yeah, Luffy **had** to be intoxicated last night to even **begin** to think kissing him was a remotely **good** idea…)

Luffy wasn’t the problem here, it was _him._ He had never entertained the ideas of a relationship for too long. And, always, Law made a point to find a problem in **them** as well. Mostly to convince himself to not even **see** if they were willing to take on his shit load of problems.

He’d find something in Luffy. Eventually.

.xxx.

Despite all of his efforts, however, Trafalgar Law could not find a single, game changing fault in Mugiwara no Luffy. Anything and everything that he _could_ find in the other Super Nova was either something he had already become accustomed to, or something so _minor_ that it, in all realities, _wouldn't_ have bothered him.

Weeks. It had been _weeks_ since the incident, and, thankfully, Luffy had not brought it up.

But, by now, Law _almost_ wanted the idiot to approach him and bring up the topic. There _were_ things that Law wanted to know, things that Law had wanted to ask Luffy. And maybe, just _maybe_ with answers to those questions, he could _finally_ find something in Luffy that would turn him away.

Quite honestly, it was driving him insane. He had lost sleep on the issue. Had become paranoid and skittish around Luffy. And his anxiety was through the roof because, because...

He was _afraid_ he wouldn't find anything.

All of this over a fucking hypothetical scenario that, in all probability, wasn't even going to happen.

Because if Luffy _was_ going to ask, well he would have already done so by now. It's not like Luffy to put something that he wanted to do off for such a long period of time after all.

(Why? **Why** did that bastard kiss him damn it!)

.xxx.

In the end, it was _him_ that caved. After the god-knows-what-numbered timed of losing sleep over some **stupid** drunken kiss Law decided to drag the other captain from his bunk.

"We need to talk."

(One of the bad side effects of brewing on this for as long as he did was the idea was _starting_ to become **appealing.** This. _This_ was why he never thought on these scenarios for so long. That's why he always tried to convince himself that the person in question wasn't suitable for him. He didn't **do** relationships. Even if there was that small sliver inside of him that craved it and wondered just _what_ it would be like.)

...And he'd be damned. Fucking Monkey D. Luffy looked _adorable_ right now, with a yawn on his lips, a fist rubbing sleepily at his eye and...

"Torao?"

Law sighed, before the most pathetic line of his life slipped out of his lips.

"Well, we're both sober..."

And the look on Luffy's face...

Well, he looked like a dying machine that was slowly being brought back to life. The way that the light slowly flickered to life on his face... the realisation...

"We can talk about it now?"

(...Did that idiot...)

...Never mind, he **didn't** want to know... Nor was he going to ask.

"...Yeah." He admitted awkwardly, glancing off to the side.

"Yay!" And the light that was slowly being ignited was now a fire. "I mean, I didn't know what you meant by sober and… I **wasn't** drinking and..."

"Wait a minute!" Law interjected - and now that he _actually_ thought about it, wasn't Luffy a _horrendous_ liar? "You didn't..." Oh God... Oh **God...** Shit. Fuck. This wasn't good. No. This wasn't **what** he had been anticipating **at all** and - **_Fuck!_**

"You - you just..."

His head was spinning and going a mile a minute and...

"I just what Torao?"

And god damn Mugiwara no Luffy was acting as if this was not a big fucking deal.

That somebody had _actually..._

"That I just kissed you?"

"Give me a moment..."

(He was **not** panicking. He was **not** panicking. Fuck. He **was** panicking. Over a fucking kiss that wasn't actually a drunken kiss and that **somebody** had actually...)

"...Yeah, I kissed you because I like you, _duh._ I mean, why wouldn't I..."

(See? **Perfect** partner material right here. Number one. VIP. Soon he'd have **everybody** flaunting themselves at his feet and--)

"...Seriously, why did you think I was drinking?" There was a pause in Luffy's babbling that Law wasn't really paying too much attention to right now. "Torao? Torao?"

"I **said** give me a moment Mugiwara-ya!"

Law had all but yelled and just squatted down, holding his head, closing his eyes.

He didn't get it. He didn't understand any of it. Why? **How?**

"...Torao?"

(See? Look. Luffy was worried about him now. Lovely, just lovely.)

Law inhaled deeply a few times, trying to calm himself enough not to lash out again. Trying to calm the chaotic thoughts in his mind.

"...Why?"

That word was croaked out - a barest whisper.

He felt Luffy's gaze on him.

"...How?" Law felt his body trembling again. " _How_ can you like **me?** "

His stomach felt like lead. His head hurt. His heart racing. How can you..." And his lips wouldn't stop moving. Rambling, he was rambling. Listing off all of the god damned things that were wrong with him and...

"...full of problems and paranoid and everybody always leaves me anyway and-"

"Torao!"

At the mention of his name Law felt himself jolt. It wasn't that the voice was laced with Haki, but it held power regardless.

"You're **not** any of that - and even if you were I don't care. You're Torao, the man that I care for."

Law didn't know what to call the look in Luffy's eyes right now. It wasn't love, it wasn't empathy (he knew that from Cora-san) and it wasn't even forgiveness. But, whatever it was, it drew him in, and they remained there in silence for a few moments. Eventually, Law felt control returning to him.

"Feeling better Torao?"

Despite everything, Luffy smiled at him.

"...Yeah."

.xxx.

It wasn't long after that conversation that Law had agreed to try. To _try_ a relationship.

He didn't make any promises - and Luffy seemed fine with that.

He couldn't find any reasons to decline Luffy after all.

(And the idea _was_ appealing in its own sense. That he appreciated Luffy's company, perhaps more than just an ally or friend should. In different ways...)

The secrecy lasted a month.

(To be honest, really, Law was surprised Luffy had lasted that long. Given the guy's tendency with secrets and all...)

But, at least by then Law knew that, yes, this was something that he wanted.

.xxx.

Thankfully, they lasted a bit longer until Luffy's brothers found out.

Apparently Ace and Sabo had bumped into one another and had decided to jointly come to visit their little brother.

When the two brothers had boarded the ship, Law had been greeted warmly before they quickly bombarded Luffy with updates about his life. Inquiring about certain events that had happened in the news and such.

In the meanwhile, Law had just decided to wander off while Luffy caught up with his brothers.

His peace didn't last all too long however.

" **What?!** "

Both of the brothers had said that simultaneously. He didn't quite like the sounds of that. And low and behold, he had both of them at his side.

It was _his_ turn to be bombarded with questions.

All about the topic of their relationship. Great. And a few about his sexuality and preferences and past history...

Needless to say, Law avoided answering the more _personal_ questions.

"Relax Torao~ They just want to know more about you~" Luffy sang once he catapulted himself over, and hugged him.

"What we do by ourselves is of _no business_ to anybody but us Luffy-ya."

(He received some scandalous sounds from the brothers.)

Law suppressed a blush. "Sh-Shut up! _whatever_ it is that we do or _do not_ do is none of your business!"

They were all laughing at him.

(He was just going to ignore the suggestions and scenarios that the brothers were laying out for him. Yup.)

Finally, it seemed that the teasing was mostly done. (For now, oh Law knew he wasn't escaping that easily.)

"So, I guess I should tell Dragon not to expect being a grandfather anytime soon~" He said with a teasing wink.

Ace had rolled his eyes. "They _could always_ adopt, ya know Sabo. Just pick up some stray child in a war ravaged zone - you never know."

Law just ignored the two brothers in favour of looking down at Luffy who had tangled up on top of him.

"Shishishi." He was laughing.

Yeah, that's what really mattered here.

Luffy.

.xxx.

...Those god damned brothers of his...

If they hadn't gone and opened their mouths and...

_"Torao? Did you ever want to have a kid?"_

Damn those brothers for putting that idea in Luffy's head. Damn them.

_"...This is because your brothers mentioned it, isn't it?" He sighed._

_And Luffy only nodded enthusiastically._

Of course, Law went into the explanation that adopting a kid, really, would only be due to the scenario that Ace had given. Of course no orphanage would let _pirates_ adopt children. Nor would they be able to pick up a child who was known by villagers, or other people. That the only children they would able to 'adopt' in a sense were those without homes or family or people to care for or remember them.

Most of which went over Luffy's head, but at least he understood that adopting a child wouldn't be as easy as it sounded.

But _then_ Law went into the schematics about biological children, and then shit just... hit the fan.

_"Statistically speaking, the chances of us being able to father a child together are nigh impossible. We're both guys after all." Law's voice was very matter-o-fact right now, as it tended to be when he was explaining. "Unless there's a devil fruit to change one's sex and keep their DNA intact..."_

_"Oh! Iva-san can do that! We could always just ask Sabo-"_

_"Well," Law paused, not at all expecting that response, "I suppose that would leave us with a few questions... First off, **would** we even **want** to have a child? **Would I** be able to even have a child considering my past? **When** would we do so, considering it would be a year of inactivity? And lastly, **who** would willing become female to carry the child to term?"_

Luffy started acting... well... _strange_ after that.

Law hadn't noticed it, however. No, not until Luffy had _lashed_ out at him.

They had been exploring the questions - all hypothetical of course - and when they had gotten to the last comment, and Law had been listing out the pros and cons of Luffy carrying the child (after his own study of himself) Luffy had just...

Flipped.

Protesting about how he would **never** even consider carrying the child. That he was a **guy** and would **never** change into a girl.

Then went off on some incoherent rant that not even _Law_ understood - but it seemed that Luffy had taken great offense to him even _suggesting_ Luffy turning into a woman. That he was faulting him for something.

He let Nami take over from there.

And now? Well he was wandering the Sunny, just avoiding Luffy. And right now he had ended up in the men's quarters.

It was quiet down here. Empty too.

To be honest, Law never spent much time down here. He mostly slept in the infirmary or on the deck when he was aboard the Strawhats' ship. Occasionally Luffy would drag him to his bunk, if he wanted to sleep next to him.

(That being said, mostly when he was visiting nowadays, he would have his own submarine nearby and chose to sleep in his own bed.)

He sighed before sitting down on some furniture.

He glanced around, making a face at the apparent lack of tidiness of the room. There were clothes everywhere.

...Well not _everywhere_ but more so than he would have liked.

(And were those Franky's _speedos_ hanging off a nail in the wall? He fucking hoped they were clean. He wasn't going near them in any case...)

Law sighed and shook his head before leaning back, his head falling behind the couch he was seated on.

He stared at the room, which was now upside down.

There were a few other things he noticed. One of which was a dresser off to the corner. And a half-walled off area right beside it.

The dresser had accumulated _a lot_ of dust. As if it hadn't been used in months. Years maybe.

Why was that, he wondered?

(He was curious, yes. Why there was an area that, in all appearances, looked like a changing room with a dresser nearby? And if that dresser was unused, well maybe he could use it as a storage for some of _his_ clothes? He was on the ship often enough...)

Curiosity got the better of him, and he wandered over there.

When he was about to touch the dresser, he thought the better of it and just used his scan instead.

...Huh, so there _were_ clothes in there.

But what were they doing unused?

As he focused in a bit more at the clothes, he began to recognise the style.

_Luffy's?_

He found himself glancing back to the dresser he had often seen Luffy rush to.

What the hell?

By now, Law knew that probably - _probably_ he should just dismiss this. It probably was nothing. And Luffy tended to wear a lot of the same clothes over anyway... so it was probably just extra clothes that his ally never got to wearing yet.

(But the half wall was bothering him now. _Why_ was Luffy's clothes over here? By the design, the thing looked to be a sort of changing room. Luffy was always flaunting his chest and he doubted the boy had any shame when it came to other body parts and strangers...)

Really. He should just _walk away_ and go read a book or some shit. Luffy was already mad enough at him as it were. For god knows what reason. He didn't need to worsen it.

He was staring at the bubble his _Scan_ had revealed.

Plenty of jean shorts. Hell, even a few boxers... and a plethora of shirts...

_Bandages? And - wait a minute, that isn't a..._

" _Shambles._ "

Law was staring at the garment in question in his hands.

If he was honest in his opinion - really - this looked like, well...

A bra. The kind that women wore if they were _smart_ about regular physical activity. (And the ones that were, quite frankly, a _bitch_ to get off. At least, in his experience.)

But, no. The fabric under his hands didn't have much give. And with a brief tug, he confirmed his suspicions that, yes, it hardly had any stretch at all. Enough to fit over the head, be still be comfortable but...

It would do a whole lot of compressing.

... Was _that_ why there were no button up shirts in Luffy's wardrobe? And those bandages...

Law groaned and just threw the... _binder_ behind himself (with a quick, last minute correction to _shamble_ it back into the dresser) before slumping onto the couch.

He was **such** a _fucking idiot._

.+++.

_"Luffy, Luffy. Calm down. **He didn't know.** "_

Luffy sighed and hugged his legs. He knew it wasn't fair to lash out at Torao like that. Torao didn't know. Of course he didn't.

Sure, they met before Iva fixed him up - but unless somebody saw him without a shirt on, they never suspected...

Well, maybe Torao could have - he was a doctor after all...

But by the time Torao had to _really_ fix him up... well...

Apparently that was more than enough for Law to not suspect.

(Not to mention...)

Luffy sighed, frustrated. He needed to find Torao and apologise to him. Torao didn't know. He didn't mean anything by it. He just thought Luffy was _normal_ like everybody else, and that's why he said those things. Torao _didn't know_ and Luffy couldn't fault him for that.

Soon he found Torao, who was sitting by the tree like he always did.

He felt bad...

But Luffy swallowed and took a few steps forward.

"Torao!"

...The look in those yellow eyes hurt. They hurt a lot. He looked sad and angry and...

"I'm sorry Luffy-ya."

"I - no - it's okay Torao! It's my fault! I shouldn't have-"

Why was Torao apologising?

"I fucked up."

"...Torao?" What was Torao saying? He didn't know... he shouldn't...

"I was stupid. _So_ fucking **stupid!** "

"Torao!"

(This time, his yelling did nothing…)

"I can't believe..."

Torao was holding his head again. Like before. Like when they talked about the kiss.

"Torao!" Damn it! What was he supposed to **do** here?! He grabbed the other captain's shoulders tightly, shaking him a little. "Torao!"

"I'm sorry - I - I _can't..._ I didn't know... _Fuck..._ "

Luffy froze at that.

...What... what did he mean by that?

"I'm **such** a fucking _idiot..._ I just thought that you were..."

(Fear. Fear. _That's_ what was lumping up in his throat right now. His arms trembled. His entire body did. No... No... It was like when he argued with Nami's doctor... when Nami came into the room... His arms went limp, he took a step back…)

"...If only I had know... I would have never..."

(The next thing he heard was the sound of flesh hitting flesh.)

.+++.

"You would have never **what** Law?"

Law had looked up at the woman who had smacked him: her hands now balled up and on her hips - but ready to attack him again. Her expression was angry.

(He could still hear the whispers though, in the back of his mind: God, _how_ could he have been so _stupid!_ **How!** He fucked up. Royally fucked up. Royally screwed up. Big time. Stupid. Insensitive. An asshole. That's what he was.)

And he glanced over to Luffy - only feeling that guilt hit him even _more._ Scared. Afraid… That's how Luffy was looking at him right now.

_He had really fucked up big time, hadn't he?_

" **Well?** "

...Nami had asked him a question, hadn't she?

(God, it was hard to concentrate...)

Law avoided her gaze, and Luffy's. "I would have never said what I said." He found himself biting his lip, trying to let the pain distract him from the deafening chaos inside of his mind. To let it ground him to the here and now. Nami's slap had knocked him back to his senses, and was he ever grateful for that. "It was insensitive... I'm sorry Luffy... I'm sorry that I suggested..."

(He reached his hand across his body and grabbed his elbow, fingers digging into the flesh there.)

"I fucked up and made you uncomfortable and angry and it _wasn't right_ for me to do that and-"

"Y-You're not angry?"

Law looked up immediately at the tone of Luffy's voice. Why? Why was it so _terrified_ and _sad_ and _pleading_ and -- oh gods he _fucked up_ **again** didn't he?

(What did he do **this time?** )

He dug his nails in deeper. Luffy. He had to answer Luffy.

"No." He shook his head. "At least, not at you. The only person I'm angry at is myself. I was such a damn idiot and apparently I just fucked up **again** and don't know just **how** or why or-"

Nami slapped him again.

...That woman had a really fucking strong hand.

"Well, at least that shuts you up."

He felt Luffy prying his hand away from his arm.

"Y-You're okay with... with this?" Luffy squeezed his hand, gently but desperately.

...Wait. Wait. **What?!**

Law just stared at Luffy in astonishment. "I- _of course_ I am Luffy-ya!" To emphasise the point he took his other hand to clasp Luffy's. Why did Luffy even think...?

"But I'm not-"

...Ah. Fuck. Law sighed and placed his forehead on top of Luffy's head.

"I couldn't give a **damn** about that Luffy-ya."

"B-But what If Iva couldn't-"

But Law could already _guess_ what Luffy was getting at. "Then _I_ would. Devil fruits are not the only way to fix _that_ problem. Sure, it might not be _as_ effective, but it still does a damn good job. Of course... only if you wanted me to."

Luffy moved and grabbed Law's face with his free hand so that their gazes matched. "...And what if I _didn't_ want you to? What if I turn back or what if-"

Law leaned in and lightly kissed Luffy on the lips to shut him up for a moment, since his hands were otherwise preoccupied. "It wouldn't matter. We would do what _you_ wanted. It's not like female bodies aren't appealing to me either."

(Law vaguely could hear Nami scoffing something about sappy or too much information before she stormed off in her heels.)

"...And if I want kids?"

Law chuckled softly. "If I agree, I suppose _I'd_ have to carry them, wouldn't I?"

Luffy pulled him down for a kiss.

When they parted, Luffy was laughing.

"...Oh, Torao... _how_ did you find out anyway... since I'm a guy now..."

Law groaned and placed his head in his hands.

...Ah well, it was bound to come out _one_ day...

**Author's Note:**

> IF THERE ARE TYPOS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I ONLY QUICKLY BRIEFED THROUGH IT


End file.
